The constant battle between opinions and convenience
Allmänt
Oktober 2015
Exeggutor.sePoetry
01:10:03 | 
I just remembered that I forgot to show you some of John's poems that I like. So I thought I'd do that now! These poems are from his book "In his own write" that I have on my ipod, unfortunately I don't have the book, so you lovely people that know me personally and knows that it's my birthday soon, if you ever manage to find it, I really really really really really want it!
Randolf's Party
It was Christbus time but Randolph was alone.
Where were all his good pals, Bernie, Dave, Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba, Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan, Frenk, Tom, Harry, George, Harold? Where were they on this day? Randolf looged saggly at his only Chrispbut cart from his dad who did not live there.
"I can't understan this being so aloneley on the one day of the year when one would surely spect a pal or two?" thought Rangolf. Hanyway he carried on putting ub the desicrations and muzzle toe. All of a surgeon there was amerry timble on the door. Who but who could be a knocking on my door? He opend it and there standing there whol but only his pals. Bernie, Dave, Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba, Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan, Frenk, Tom, Harry, George, Harolb weren't they?
Come on in old pals buddys and mates. With a big griif on his face Randoff welcombed them. In they came jorking and labbing shoubing "Haddy Grimmble, Randoob." and other hearty, and then they all jumbed on him and did smite him with mighty blows about his head crying. "We never liked you all the years we've known you. You were never raelly one of us you know, soft head"
They killed him you know, at least he didn't die alone did he? Merry Chrustchove, Randolf old pal buddy.
Good Dog Nigel
Arf, Arf, he goes, a merry sight,
Our little hairy friend,
Arf, Arf, upon the lampost bright
Arfing round the bend.
Nice dog! Goo boy,
Waggie tail and beg,
Clever Nigel, jump for joy
Because we're putting you to sleep at three of the clock, Nigel.
No Flies On Frank (I've put part of this one on instagram before, but here's the full story!)
There were no flies on Frank that morning - after all why not? He was a responsible citizen with a wife and child, wasn't he? It was a typical Frank morning and with an agility that defies description he leapt into the bathroom onto the scales. To his great harold he discovered he was twelve inches more tall heavy! He couldn't believe it and his blood raised to his head causing a mighty red colouring.
"I carn't not believe this incredible fact of truth about my very body which has not gained fat since mother begat me at childburn. Yea, thought I wart through the valet of thy shadowy hut I will feed no norman. What grate qualmsy hath taken me thus into such a fatty hardbuckle"
Again Frank looked down at the arful vision which clouded his eyes with fearful weight. "Twelve inches more heavy, Lo!, but am I not more fatty than my brother Geoffery whose father Alec came from Kenneth - through Leslies, who begat Arthur, son of Eric, by the house of Ronald and April - keepers of James of Newcastle who ran Madeline at 2-1 by Silver Flower, (10-2) past Wot-ro-Wot at 4/3d a pound?"
He journeyed downstairs crestfalled and defective - a great wait on his boulders - not even his wife's battered face could raise a smile on poor Frank's head - who as you know had no flies on him. His wife, a former beauty queer, regarded him with a strange but burly look.
"What ails thee, Frank?", she asked stretching her prune. "You look dejected if not informal", she addled.
"Tis nothing but wart I have gained but twelve inches more tall heavy than at the very clock of yesterday at this time - am I not the most miserable of men? Suffer ye not to spake to me or I might thrust you a mortal injury; I must traddle this trial alone."
"Lo! Frank - thou hast smote me harshly with such grave talk - am I to blame for this vast burton?"
Frank looked sadly at his wife - forgetting for a moment the cause of his misery. Walking slowly but slowly toward her, he took his head in his hands and with a few swift blows had clubbed her mercifully to the ground dead.
"She shouldn't see me like this" he mubbled, "not all fat and on her thirtysecond birthday"
Frank had to get his own breakfast that morning and also on the following mornings. Two, (or was it three?) weeks later FRank awake again to find that there were still no flies on him.
"No flies on this Frank boy" he though; but to his amazement there seemed to be a lot of flies on his wife - who was still lying about the kitchen floor.
"I carn't not partake of bread and that with her lying about the place" he thought allowed, writing as he spoke. "I must deliever her to her home where she will be made welcome"
He gathered her in a small sack (for she was only four foot three) and headed for her rightful home. Frank knocked on the door of his wife's mothers house. She opened the door.
"I've brought Marian home, Mrs. Sutherskill" (he could never call her Mum). He opened the sack and placed Marian on the doorstep.
"I'm not having all those flies in my home" shouted Mrs. Sutherskill (who was very houseproud), shutting the door. "She could have at least offered me a cup of tea", thought Frank lifting the problem back on his boulders.
The end
